Why You Act The Way You Do

Your mind is everything.

It’s the personal control center that keeps all systems functioning and is responsible for your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. It happens to be the most complicated biological structure in the universe.

It’s kind of a big deal.

Just like any other powerful and complex tool, the mind requires careful handling and regular maintenance. It can break down. It can be weaponized.

Where there’s power, there’s room for corruption. It’s important to remember that your subconscious has a bunch of self-preservational default settings that aren’t always primed for optimal user experience.

For starters, your subconscious prefers hanging out on auto-pilot. What does this look like?

Have you ever tried to get a toddler off the floor and out the door? Not to go to the dentist, but somewhere fun. (A new park, maybe?) Have you tried a couple of hours later to get them back in their stroller to go home from the aforementioned park? (If you haven’t had the pleasure of doing either, imagine a string of defiant “NOs” and at least a few angry tears bookending the “fun” outing.)

Like our subconscious minds left unchecked, toddlers are not lazy and unimaginative, they are merely cozy in the moment and want to stay. Wherever. They. Are. Our subconscious minds want us to stay put, too. But it takes more than the promise of a snack or a favorite story to push adults out of their comfort zones.

You invest far more in your thoughts than you realize.

So many of us live our lives based on what we think, what we believe, and how we see the world around us. I'm not saying that's a bad thing—sometimes it really helps to have a strong sense of self and a clear vision of how you want things to be. But, if you primarily rely on your thoughts and opinions to the point where they’re keeping you stuck in old stories and bad habits, it can be helpful to take a step back and ask yourself a few questions.

• Why am I thinking this way?
• Why do I believe this?
• What would happen if I thought differently?
• Is there another way of looking at this situation?
• What else might be going on? 

Your answers can help you break out of your comfort zone and open up your mind so that you can begin experiencing the world around you in new ways. And you can revisit and explore these questions whenever you feel stuck. It will become easier and easier to become more aware of your thoughts the more you practice questioning them with loving curiosity. 

Thoughts are not reality.

Our feelings and emotions are real experiences, but they are not facts. They also aren’t who we are. Our thoughts work similarly.

The beliefs we hold on to most deeply are often so subconsciously ingrained in us, we are unaware of them. We often learned them as easy coping mechanisms as children or under times of great stress or trauma.

They are deep in there, nestled in near-undetectability (aka your subconscious). So they cause us to react as though we are in the past, in lieu of processing what is truly happening in the present.

Take for example someone who has been in a car accident. The last thing they heard before the crash was a loud horn. Unchecked, their traumatized brain believes horn honk is potentially life-threatening.

This can make them potentially dangerous and highly reactive drivers. Whether they’re nervous or aggressive, they’re certainly not driving in the present. One day pulling into the grocery store someone taps their horn as they pass. Their brain goes into panic mode, flipping the bird at the offending car. Turns out, it’s the next-door neighbor and her kids giving a friendly honk. Now the driver’s day is ruined. Maybe they feel guilty, embarrassed, or angry at their well-meaning neighbor or, more likely, at themselves. 

The reality is what was really happening, was not what they were experiencing inside–mentally or emotionally. Remember the subconscious prefers to roll in auto-pilot mode unless we wake up and show it that we want to drive and go a different way. 

Thoughts are optional.

Ultimately, your thoughts are optional. You can give them attention or reroute and rewire. You can believe them or question them. You can switch the radio dial any time you like, but you need to actually move the dial.

 Looking to clear your mental cache and write a new program?  Book a Discovery Call to get started.