How self-labeling keeps you stuck

emotional intelligence personal development subconscious reprogramming Aug 10, 2023
Stuck in self-labelling


Are you familiar with that “little voice in your head”? I’m not talking about intuition or the spidey sense that tingles when trouble is lurking.🕷️

This isn’t that “trust your gut” kind of thing. 🔮

I’m talking about a harsh, cruel voice, one that judges everything you do. It reduces you—magical, complex, spiritual, creative you—to a mere list of harsh, judgmental labels. This is the self-labeling voice that keeps you second-guessing yourself. It squashes your potential and makes you question your boundaries and your next right action. It’s like gaslighting yourself.

Simply put: Self-labeling keeps you tied to stories that bind you to the traits and behaviors you don't want. 


Ironically, when we are stuck and looking for traditional help to get unstuck, we are often motivated by (well-meaning but misguided) therapists, online quizzes, and pop psychologists that are "identifying" or better said labeling the perceived issue. We end up proudly wearing the tag of the label and feeling relief to know "why" we are the way we are.  That somehow naming “it” is the path to a cure.

Is it fear? Or limiting beliefs? Imposter syndrome? The wounded inner child? Or insert-label-here for why you’re stuck?

Those quizzes that put you into a neat category with a cute matching emoji? Stop doing this to yourself! 👸 ðŸ˜ˆ ðŸ§™ ðŸ˜­

Stop doing that to yourself!


You may tend to procrastinate, but you are not a procrastinator. You may struggle with self-esteem, but you are not an imposter. You are a full-on, human being. You may know this at the conscious level, but it’s your subconscious that is running, non-stop commentary behind-the-scenes.

For example, say you identify with the concept of imposter syndrome. You believe it. You identify as an imposter and this keeps you living in fear, from trying new things, and going for what you want. As far as your subconscious mind is concerned, this is GREAT NEWS!

Being stuck is a good, safe, and cozy place to be because it is known. So, you accept you are an imposter and continue living the scared limited life you’ve been stuck in. Remember, your subconscious likes things easy.

Your subconscious determines how you experience life when you feel consumed by fear, worry, anxiety, emotions, and beliefs. Your mind processes in a way that isn’t serving you (remember, if given the choice, it’ll go for the easy/quick fix with zero long game). It only makes sense that you become fixated on what you're doing (since it’s causing you pain aka a "threat") and what your label is instead of HOW your mind is filtering your experience. Your mind is preoccupied with thoughts and feelings that uphold these labels and this is the actual issue.


Aside from healthier self-talk, when we break the self-labeling habit, other parts of life become a lot easier, too:

  • Better relationships. When you label yourself chances are you’re labeling your relationships with other people, too. Work, life, and love become easier.
  • Ease in times of stress. The sense that things are as they are is limiting and keeps us from accepting things as they are and embracing that things are always changing. 
  • Healthier personal choices. Self-defeating labels can feed the narrative of “why bother,” further keeping us from creating new, healthier habits. 
  • Embrace the real you. Not the old programs you've lived by, but the you that you've always wanted to be. 
  • Fewer assumptions = more clarity + positive possibilities. Open up to other possibilities and creative solutions by looking for the best in yourself, others, and your experiences. 


The good news is, you can rewire your brain to turn your self-talk from a weapon into a powerful tool.


As I’ve said before, we are also our greatest potential and we can use our powerful minds as tools to help us create the life we want and this is where hypnosis can help. It’s a powerful, painless way to tap in and edit the brain’s subconscious chatter into something useful and productive.

If you’re hypno-curious and would like to learn more, check out this blog on How Hypnosis Works. If you’d like to go a bit deeper (like a toe in the water, not a full-on plunge), I invite you to sign up for my new Community Group Hypnosis. Monthly sessions start in September, so grab your seat today. All you need is an open mind and the willingness to let go.

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